I recently realized that I now prioritize joy. What a foreign concept that would have been for me just a few years ago.
I’ve reckoned with the fact that there is always something—absolutely anything—that can try to wrangle my joy away from me. I also recognize that one of the many purposes of my time in this world is to let more joy in.
Prioritizing joy meant adopting my dog, Hubble. Sure—it has not been an easy feat waking up multiple times a night when his sensitive stomach protests, growing his self-confidence, and setting aside my wants to address his needs. Yet, having him in my life has been one of the greatest teachers. Hubble shows me over and over again that perfection does not exist. That I can do my humanly best with the tools I have, and know that real life is messy and imperfect. That choosing to be close to kindness is always worthwhile, and taking the leap to trust can change a life.
Prioritizing joy meant challenging myself to run in the mountains, over and over. Trail running has taught me that the steepest challenges are some of the most humbling and awe-inducing experiences. That there is something in here that aligns with something out there, which keeps my tired legs moving as the monarch butterflies prance around me in an orange blur, as a hawk and raven battle it out mid-air, both screeching at pitches previous unknown to me. That using my body to its fullest, letting my feet be slightly bruised, my knees scarred from falling on the Earth, are experiences I would never want to forget. That too much self-protection takes joy away.
How do I reduce the fear, the panic within? Why is connecting with others sometimes so painful? There is so much to point at in the world which will inevitably create hurt within. And yet, right now, as I write this, my dog’s head is gently resting on my foot, his eyes closed, his nose occasionally twitching as he dreams a happy dream. I think about the lizard he is chasing in his sleep, the rabbit he wants to befriend. And for a moment, everything dissipates.
I appreciate you sharing this! I heard someone say they were "letting themselves be happy" recently and that stopped me in my tracks. The "letting" part, specifically. I think that's the the thing, right? The allowing, the letting. Being happy is one thing, but allowing it? That's something next level.
Someone once said to me that joy becomes that much sweeter because we can also feel sadness and pain, and that if we didn't feel the bad things, we wouldn't be able to truly appreciate the good. While there will always be something that could overshadow your joy, if you actively put in the work to seek joy, you'll have an endless supply whenever you need it.
Hubble is the bestest boy for bringing you much joy!! Feed him some treats for me!!!